Posts by termite 35

70

my dad died

by termite 35 in

jw
friends

dear everyone, my dad died suddenly and unexpectedly at the weekend.he did'nt turn up for a family dinner and my husband and i went to see if he was ok.he was dead.collapsed in his home.i can't stop shaking and i feel really sick.i've lost my mum and now my dad too.i wish i could sleep for months and wake when the pain has finished with me.

it hurts so much .sorry to bring everyone down-but i'm stressed at having to sort out his arrangements due to the autopsy and funeral etc and the house and my feelings.

; i just wanted to tell you all as my husband's gone for a walk and the children are asleep and i'm feeling scared about viewing his body, but i know i'll have to and i feel guilty for feeling like that.stupid thoughts racing through my mind at the moment-need to 'hear' a friendly voice .

termite 35

Dear Everyone; you are all so wonderful.

Please dont think I did'nt want to come back to you all- but my brother in Canada phoned on the other line and I spoke to him until 3am-the computer's in the bedroom so I could'nt turn it back on til now as my husband is worn out too.

I 've just sat here this mornng and read and re- read all of the thoughts you wrote to me. they do help.and this morning i'm crying uncontrolably but it feels like a relief- so i'm getting it out at last.. you've brought that out for me.I'm so grateful to you all.Gizmo, the poem is beautiful - i'll print it out and keep it.Thankyou just2laws ; that was a lovely idea-i'm out all day today with my sister,she'd come to register the death with me and then I have to pick my brother up from the airport- but I would like to speak to you when everyone's gone home later this week- your voice is so calming-i need that.

I hav'nt decided about seeing him- but I think I will have to, I know he would have wanted me to and he saw my mum everyday she was in the chapel of rest.

Mouthy-after feeling I have no religion left after thr wt experience I have been praying over the last few days-thankyou for all you said- I hope I do get to be with him again one day.

But all i really wish is that he's concious somewhere and happy.I may go to the doctor and get something to sleep- You forget how to after something like this..

Eman thankyou, that is a lovely thought- when everyone's gone and I need a walk on the beach with a friendly face I may call you.

I must go and meet my sister now- I love you all; take care of eachother ; perhaps today is a good day to send your dad a card to tell him you love him.

70

my dad died

by termite 35 in

jw
friends

dear everyone, my dad died suddenly and unexpectedly at the weekend.he did'nt turn up for a family dinner and my husband and i went to see if he was ok.he was dead.collapsed in his home.i can't stop shaking and i feel really sick.i've lost my mum and now my dad too.i wish i could sleep for months and wake when the pain has finished with me.

it hurts so much .sorry to bring everyone down-but i'm stressed at having to sort out his arrangements due to the autopsy and funeral etc and the house and my feelings.

; i just wanted to tell you all as my husband's gone for a walk and the children are asleep and i'm feeling scared about viewing his body, but i know i'll have to and i feel guilty for feeling like that.stupid thoughts racing through my mind at the moment-need to 'hear' a friendly voice .

termite 35

by the time i'd replied to mulan and out you'd all piled in; love you all.

You're all so kind- i really appreciate your thoughts and prayers - This stops my head swimming with the useless what-if's that consume me today.My dad was only 68- and an athlete-very strong - it seems unbelieveable - I spoke to some of his friends on the phone today- it's lovely to hear things you did'nt know about your dad.my last day with him on mon. was good and i'm grateful for that. he seemed a little happier than lately.i'm desperate for that 'one last word' - when I believed in the paradise earth I thought i'd get it.

70

my dad died

by termite 35 in

jw
friends

dear everyone, my dad died suddenly and unexpectedly at the weekend.he did'nt turn up for a family dinner and my husband and i went to see if he was ok.he was dead.collapsed in his home.i can't stop shaking and i feel really sick.i've lost my mum and now my dad too.i wish i could sleep for months and wake when the pain has finished with me.

it hurts so much .sorry to bring everyone down-but i'm stressed at having to sort out his arrangements due to the autopsy and funeral etc and the house and my feelings.

; i just wanted to tell you all as my husband's gone for a walk and the children are asleep and i'm feeling scared about viewing his body, but i know i'll have to and i feel guilty for feeling like that.stupid thoughts racing through my mind at the moment-need to 'hear' a friendly voice .

termite 35

Mulan and outnfree, thanks for being here. I'm so sorry about your nieces son mulan.

I can't take it in. so much to do and all I want to do is crawl into a corner and scream.

I hope he knows i'm trying to get it all right.

I hope the big secret is a good one and I wish I knew what it was.He'd been really down lately, i'd felt so helpless; now even more so.thanks for giving mw some company xxxxxx

70

my dad died

by termite 35 in

jw
friends

dear everyone, my dad died suddenly and unexpectedly at the weekend.he did'nt turn up for a family dinner and my husband and i went to see if he was ok.he was dead.collapsed in his home.i can't stop shaking and i feel really sick.i've lost my mum and now my dad too.i wish i could sleep for months and wake when the pain has finished with me.

it hurts so much .sorry to bring everyone down-but i'm stressed at having to sort out his arrangements due to the autopsy and funeral etc and the house and my feelings.

; i just wanted to tell you all as my husband's gone for a walk and the children are asleep and i'm feeling scared about viewing his body, but i know i'll have to and i feel guilty for feeling like that.stupid thoughts racing through my mind at the moment-need to 'hear' a friendly voice .

termite 35

Dear everyone, my dad died suddenly and unexpectedly at the weekend.He did'nt turn up for a family dinner and my husband and I went to see if he was ok.He was dead.Collapsed in his home.I can't stop shaking and I feel really sick.I've lost my mum and now my dad too.I wish I could sleep for months and wake when the pain has finished with me. It hurts so much .Sorry to bring everyone down-but I'm stressed at having to sort out his arrangements due to the autopsy and funeral etc and the house and my feelings.; I just wanted to tell you all as my husband's gone for a walk and the children are asleep and i'm feeling scared about viewing his body, but I know i'll have to and I feel guilty for feeling like that.Stupid thoughts racing through my mind at the moment-need to 'hear' a friendly voice

love to you all xx

21

Another death in our family

by Mulan in

jw
friends

while we were in hawaii, we learned of another death in our extended family.

our niece, my brother's daughter, had a stepson who died unexpectedly on january 1. such a tragedy.

he was a well known musician, in our area, so it made the newspaper here.

termite 35

Mulan; I'm so sorry to hear about this. I hope you can comfort your niece in some way.

All my love to you both.Thinking of you.xxx

28

I'm so very depressed...

by Nickey in

lately, i've been really depressed at missing out on my life.

from being pulled out of school in the 3rd grade to keep me away from the "worldly" kids.

i was basically isolated.

termite 35

Hello Nickey, hope you're feeling a little better after reading all your great replies.I went to school with a jw girl who came from a family alot like yours...I was so aware, even at a young age that she was'nt happy- and noone could REALLY befriend her properly- it left us all feeling a little useless so you can understand how happy I was recently to meet her again.She's 'out' and successfull and very happy, after being such a lonely little girl and you will be too.

22 is SO YOUNG!

i'm 37 now and held back from following my life-long dream of studying Art as I was told i'd be wasting what little time this system had left... I was clinically depressed for nearly the whole time I was associating with the witnesses- I lacked any self confidence and had very low self worth issues to cope with but now I feelso enthusiastic about EVERYTHING and i'm enjoying my life to the full .I hav'nt had depression since I left- (i'm working on the self worth etc) strange is'nt it ?! Now i'm back at college having a wonderful time, ok; i'll be a little older than many others when I graduate, so what? us older ones get a much better deal in college anyway-it's very relaxed, many of the tutors have become friends and we have a ball.

Please don't give up on your dream- let me know how you get on with the singing- that's something I love to do- but noone loves to listen to me !!!

termite xxx

16

Do you still use the name Jehovah when you......

by termite 35 in

..pray with your kids ?.

my son is only 8 and went to the kingdom hall from birth to 6 1/2 years old.i don't mind praying for/with him every night as he wants me to, even though my 'faith' has changed alot these past 18 months and at the moment i'm content to enjoy my freedom and let experiences in life direct me instead of a religion.

he wants me to use the j word and i feel really uncomfortable using it .

termite 35

Hi BigTex;

Are you in or out ? Just wondering if that affects your outlook . Good point about not letting my embarassment affect my son. I try not to. We talk endlessly about the whole jw experience,but I think as he's effectively 'grown up' within it's frame work of rules and used certain words to gain approval from the cong ( as we all did; proof of you spiritual advancement ) it must be a little scary to drop them .Hopefully as he matures I won't have to keep using the word i've come to detest.

I'm not sure that i'm a Christian any longer, the WTBS spoiled all that for me...but I don't want to label my self as as someone with a fixed spiritual title anyway.

Hello Whyhideit;

I meditate, but with no religious inferences . I like the idea of 'prayer' as a ritual and /or meditation,you sound very calm and relaxed so it must work for you too. - but I do it in a way to calm myself from a busy, sometimes stressful life - just breathing properly and sitting in a quiet place, slowly clearing my mind and calming my soul - I just do what works for me. I think prayer is only a lesser form of meditation anyway-it makes you feel better because you concentrate your mind on your stresses and problems and then relax - nothing magical about that to me, but perhaps i'm a cynic of anything spiritual nowadays

Edited by - termite 35 on 11 January 2003 11:15:56

16

Do you still use the name Jehovah when you......

by termite 35 in

..pray with your kids ?.

my son is only 8 and went to the kingdom hall from birth to 6 1/2 years old.i don't mind praying for/with him every night as he wants me to, even though my 'faith' has changed alot these past 18 months and at the moment i'm content to enjoy my freedom and let experiences in life direct me instead of a religion.

he wants me to use the j word and i feel really uncomfortable using it .

termite 35

Thanks everyone The issue of whether or not you use the name Jehovah when you stop associating does seem to be a deeply personnal one, as opposed to a taught one- which is a big step forward for us lot, don't you think ?!

Pistoff;

I can understand why you still use it, and it does give an image of not being 'against' the org. which, in your situation would help to keep you close to your family- good luck on getting out unscathed- hopefully with them all too x

Sixofnine;

we've done that !

Unfortunately he feels 'safe' using it - a good point was made by Talisman- do the witnesses use it as a 'charm' to be more approved of somehow? As for change, I think he's had a lot to cope with in the past with his whole understanding of the world being rocked, perhaps after 18 months the time may be right to push for one further change ; although i'd hate my feelings about it to upset him (yes, I know-i'm much to soft- he's my baby )

Brummie-

Father is nice - we use that alot too- I remember asking the wwoman that I was studying with why I had to say Jehovah as Jesus did'nt- she argued that he did-can't remember how or using which scripture-I certainly can't find it- so if it's good enough for him...!

Introspection;

that was a really good point - just knowing someone's name does not automatically mean that you know them. I think God is a wonderfully incompassing, perfectly suitable term too. It is INCLUSIVE to all peoples and not used as an EXCLUSIVE way to 'seperate' as the society does. LOVE is a lovely idea for a name ! it's the love that Jesus offered , gave and showed that draws children to respond with the loyalty I see in my son.Though i'd sound like an Eastender saying it !!

Eman

Your first statement would be my choice. I too heard the 'fact' that apostates can't use his name - I wonder what they thought would happen if we did?! I guess your second point depends on what your father was like !

I like to use the word Father with my son ; it's less of a title and more personnal though it's odd that it did'nt occur to me years ago; then I was told that using his name was more personnal; now it sounds like you're dictating a letter !

Shame about the match - roll on monday; we're heading for a thaw apparently so we should be ok - Sheffield were just on ITV, Gabby and co were singing their praises - it should be a good one.Premiership here we come...?!

Edited by - termite 35 on 11 January 2003 10:41:13

Edited by - termite 35 on 11 January 2003 10:44:30

Edited by - termite 35 on 11 January 2003 10:47:11

16

Do you still use the name Jehovah when you......

by termite 35 in

..pray with your kids ?.

my son is only 8 and went to the kingdom hall from birth to 6 1/2 years old.i don't mind praying for/with him every night as he wants me to, even though my 'faith' has changed alot these past 18 months and at the moment i'm content to enjoy my freedom and let experiences in life direct me instead of a religion.

he wants me to use the j word and i feel really uncomfortable using it .

termite 35

Hi Elsewhere; I think the comment you made about association is interesting.I associate, as I expect many do,the word Jehovah with meetings, councel for ridiculous reasons, low self image, hypocracy and bad memories.

I think I just resent having to keep the link (via the name) alive in my house when I want to erradicate all memory of the corrupt organisation it stands for. When you leave the org. and your children are grown or very small this problem would'nt come up. My girls are happy just to use the word god.

I wonder how many other children want to still use, and keep alive, a word they heard SO often that noone else (outside the KH) uses ? Some of the other ' theocratic' words they heard at meetings and keep in their vocabulary make them stand out like a beacon. sigh.

Mouthy and Mac; what more can I say?!

16

Do you still use the name Jehovah when you......

by termite 35 in

..pray with your kids ?.

my son is only 8 and went to the kingdom hall from birth to 6 1/2 years old.i don't mind praying for/with him every night as he wants me to, even though my 'faith' has changed alot these past 18 months and at the moment i'm content to enjoy my freedom and let experiences in life direct me instead of a religion.

he wants me to use the j word and i feel really uncomfortable using it .

termite 35

..pray with your kids ?

My son is only 8 and went to the Kingdom Hall from birth to 6 1/2 years old.I don't mind praying for/with him every night as he wants me to, even though my 'faith' has changed alot these past 18 months and at the moment i'm content to enjoy my freedom and let experiences in life direct me instead of a religion.

He wants me to use the J word and I feel really uncomfortable using it

It actually makes me, well, embarassed really.

I have a problem with the name because I feel my using it ,endorses all it implies ( that the witnesses still have approval by God as they are the only ones to really use the name) and by using it we can't move on to an exploration of everything else.

I use it less and less-but he still wants it (my fault, I know- years of 'you should use his name...') even though i've tried .I hope he eventually drops it after hearing it less and less.

Do you feel comfortable with the name Jehovah now ?

Does it make you cringe ?

Do you use it for your kid's sake ?

Did you use it and have successfully phased it out ?

Just wondering xx